Being Gentle on Each Other, Hard on Our Ideas
Dear Colleagues,
As we turn to fall, I am reminded again of the unique experience of being human. While some of you have children, nieces, nephews or grandchildren who are looking forward to back to school, there are others who struggle with this time of year and for whom this is a really hard time. Some will be reminiscing about an amazing summer by the lake and time enjoyed with family and friends, whereas others are coming out of a terrible summer that was marred with smoke, wildfires, evacuation orders, and potentially the loss of a home or property that supported their livelihoods. Many of you might feel like you are truly “winning” at work and feeling like you are making a contribution that brings your strengths to life, while others may have recently lost their job or are worried they will soon.
The bottom line is that every experience is unique, and we only see one dimension of a person, yet we are all made up of so much more.
So, as we move into fall, more darkness (and hopefully rain and snow – I live in the Okanagan and we need it!) my wish is that I can show up as a compassionate professional and that that compassion can start with grace for myself, my family and my work team. As many of you may know, we always start our engagement sessions and training with operating values or “our ways of working” and one statement that is often included is that: We will be gentle on each other and hard on our ideas. I feel that we need this more than ever and yet, it doesn’t make it easy. So here are some ways I am going to work to achieving this operating value:
- Appreciate: celebrate who shows up and what they share. I don’t need to agree with it, balance it, make meaning from it or even necessarily respond. I can practice presence through appreciation of who and what is before me.
- Breathe: let people take space, be ok with silence, let others hold space as they need it. I can’tmake everything all right for people, but I can be present in the space they need and take.
- Care: practice being ok with taking care of myself. This might be more walks, more quiet times, not packing my own schedule, and going slower.
I don’t believe that having empathy and compassion are uniquely necessary traits for engagement professionals and facilitators, but I do think that in this engagement space they can help make the leap to transformative dialogue that can change everything.
Wishing you a fall full of clear blue skies, cozy drinks and maybe some knitting too!
With gratitude, Jessica